1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,559 This programme contains strong language, scenes of sexual nature 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:08,879 and nudity, and scenes with discussions of self-harm 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:10,399 I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,279 In a world saturated with sex... I'm absolutely petrified. 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,879 ...more young adults than ever are living without it. 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,519 The thought of having sex with someone... Scares me. 7 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,359 It gives me the ick. I'm missing out. 8 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,439 Terrified. Nerve-racking. Gut-wrenching. 9 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:28,039 Embarrassing. All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong. 10 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,999 {\an8}Can you point to the outer labia? 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,200 Nope. 12 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,559 Now... Oh, my God! 13 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,479 ...12 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy. 14 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,159 Social media, porn, dating apps. 15 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,559 There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom. 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,159 {\an8}Use it by stimulating the area. LAUGHTER 17 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,479 They'll be guided by experts... 18 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,719 You see yourself as... Repulsive. 19 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,240 ...to explore all aspects of intimacy... 20 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,079 ...and maybe even have sex with a trained therapist... 21 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,760 Do you want to put a condom on? 22 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,559 ...or each other. 23 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,759 Get a room, guys. 24 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,119 THEY SHRIEK 25 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,079 I really do need to change my life. 26 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,759 Who will be ready... 27 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,919 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,880 ...to go all the way? 29 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,120 Ahh. 30 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,359 {\an8}Over the past few days on Virgin Island... 31 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,279 {\an8}I feel so connected to you. Can I grab your butt? 32 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,319 ...learning the dynamics of dating... 33 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:32,719 This is only phase three? 34 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,679 LAUGHTER 35 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,079 What do we do? You have to stare into my eyes. 36 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,799 ...Led to Callum and Katie becoming closer. 37 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,759 Callum, you make me giddy! 38 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,759 Tegan... You ready to look at my ass? 39 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,839 Mm-hm. ..found self-acceptance in surrogate partner therapy... 40 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,000 I'm definitely a lesbian. 41 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,119 I think that's the best I've ever felt. 42 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,919 ...and Bertie... You can kind of be all the way up. 43 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,279 And you can use my hips. Yes. 44 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,719 ...seems to be getting over his inhibitions. 45 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,519 All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks. 46 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:07,599 Now the group face their biggest challenge yet. 47 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,239 Baring all. Nudity is really the phase that people dread. 48 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,839 There are so many negative messages around bodies 49 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:14,879 that the thought of, like, 50 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,759 looking at yourself in the mirror can be really daunting. 51 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,839 Noticing if you feel like you want to continue getting undressed. 52 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,559 Lack of body confidence gets in the way of sex. 53 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,039 Learning how to relax around nudity is 54 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,840 an essential step in a sexual connection. 55 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:41,200 Day seven. Almost the halfway point on Virgin Island... 56 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,400 Oh, no. 57 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,359 Oh, my gosh. ..and for many in the group, 58 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,599 their biggest challenge yet. It's time to face and conquer 59 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,399 the thing that may have been holding you back, 60 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,959 as the next phase is nudity. Please come to this workshop 61 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,119 in as few clothes as you feel comfortable wearing. 62 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,320 This is what I've been most scared for. 63 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,799 It's a crucial stage. Morning. Morning. 64 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,319 What happens today could 65 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,199 define progress for the rest of the retreat. 66 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,799 Have you read your letter? 67 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,279 Yeah. I was hoping we wouldn't be doing this one. 68 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,839 I would like to feel less shameful, anxious, 69 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,999 about going fully undressed. 70 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,599 I just don't think I would 71 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,199 ever be able to do it. How are you feeling? 72 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,759 I'm freaking out. Yeah. 73 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,080 I don't want to do this. 74 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,039 I really hate my body, 75 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:40,479 and I really hate what I look like, so I'm really scared. 76 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,959 My whole body just now feels really tense. 77 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,079 Good morning, Bertie. 78 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,519 Is it a good morning? Really? LAUGHTER 79 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,999 Even when, like, I've worn a chequered shirt in public, 80 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,439 because I'm worried that the bits, like, near 81 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,839 the buttons expose the skin, I've always worn a vest under that. 82 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,999 That's how self-conscious I've been about my body. 83 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,800 I'm going to put my best sports bra on. 84 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,839 Oh, I just want to hide! 85 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,039 You all right? 86 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,599 Er, as I'll ever be. Yeah. 87 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,199 In front of the experts and their peers... 88 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,039 Here we go, everyone. 89 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,039 ...today's workshop is an opportunity for the virgins... 90 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,319 Good morning. Hey, guys. Hello, hello. 91 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,879 ...to prove how much confidence they have or haven't gained 92 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,679 at the retreat. 93 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,719 Welcome to the nudity phase of the course. 94 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,199 There are so many negative messages out there 95 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,799 that make us feel horrible about our bodies, 96 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,399 and we really want to help you change that. 97 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,599 Because at the end of the day, if you want to have sex, 98 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,759 you will need to be naked in front of your partner 99 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,919 and that can be very awkward if you don't 100 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,919 feel good about your body. So in a moment, 101 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,359 we're going to start going up to 102 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,759 the mirror one by one and then disrobe. 103 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,959 We believe the more 104 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,839 that they're willing to reveal in this workshop, 105 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:05,839 the more it can be rewarding, because that barrier of, like, 106 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,719 "Oh, no, I've never done this before," finally is gone. 107 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,559 Learning how to see their bodies as beautiful, 108 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:17,199 how to take a compliment, and how to say, "This is my body." 109 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,960 Who knows they want to walk first? 110 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,239 For 22-year-old Millie, 111 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,079 body image has been a long-standing challenge. 112 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,120 Hello. 113 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,039 I've never been at peace with my body. 114 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,559 Over the past few years I've just been, like, 115 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,400 that should be toned or that should be slim. 116 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,919 Take your time, sweetheart. It's OK. 117 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,719 Take your time. 118 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:57,799 And I think 119 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:02,040 if I'm not liking my own body, how can anyone else? 120 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,320 Yeah. 121 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,920 APPLAUSE 122 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:21,599 I love your body. 123 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,480 It's OK. You can let the feelings come up. 124 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,320 You can take it in. 125 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,880 I don't really like my boobs. 126 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,120 I just feel like they look weird. 127 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,039 My boobs are very similar to yours. 128 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,719 This serves me very well. 129 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,200 SHE LAUGHS 130 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,520 This is my body. 131 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:46,960 This is my body. 132 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:53,960 Who's ready? 133 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,280 Callum. 134 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,160 Go on, Cal. 135 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,399 Last time someone's probably seen me naked 136 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,199 is probably, hmm... I don't know. 137 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,479 Maybe when my mum walked in on me while I was changing. 138 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,559 I can't think of any time 139 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,040 that I've been naked in front of someone. 140 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,320 Whenever you're ready. 141 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,439 Anything you want to share about your body? 142 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,639 I've got quite strong shoulders. 143 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,999 Can I take these off? 144 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,319 Oh, please. Yeah? Yeah, I didn't know you were going to. 145 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,719 Yay! You only live once. 146 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:29,759 Ooh! 147 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,120 SHE LAUGHS 148 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,199 Now you can say this is my whole body. 149 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,399 This is my body. 150 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,719 CHEERING 151 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,600 Woo! LAUGHTER 152 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,599 One by one, each group member steps up... 153 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,999 I'd like to be more muscular. 154 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,040 Can I say you have, like, the perfect proportion. 155 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,079 ...to face their reflection. 156 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,839 Can you look in the mirror and say, "This is my body." 157 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,199 This is my body. 158 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,959 While some have the confidence to bare all... 159 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,319 The first thing that I thought was, 160 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,399 "Damn, she's fucking hot." 161 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,920 LAUGHTER 162 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,039 This is my body. I'm confident by myself. 163 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,799 This is my body. 164 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,559 It's my body. It's all mine. 165 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,600 It's my body. 166 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,040 There's mine. 167 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,239 Others can only reveal so much. 168 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:30,720 The power in your body is very attractive. 169 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,600 Ed, would you like to come up? 170 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,399 I don't like being nude around people. 171 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,280 Mostly down to, like, my scars and my disability. 172 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,559 My disability is Poland syndrome. 173 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,279 I've got a smaller hand, 174 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,239 bent fingers, no knuckle. 175 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,360 Whenever you're ready, you can disrobe. 176 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,199 I don't particularly like any part of my body. 177 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,279 Certain bits stand out more. Scars from surgeries. 178 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,640 A lot of stuff I've done to myself. 179 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,639 My first relationship 180 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,000 fell apart quite, quite badly for me. 181 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,560 I was self-harming. 182 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,599 I've come to terms with the reason I did it 183 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,319 and although people say "no-one will notice", 184 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,120 to me they will. 185 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,039 You don't hear about a lot of males doing it. Yeah. 186 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,040 Um, it's quite a difficult thing. 187 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:34,239 How would you feel if I just touched your scars with some love? 188 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,640 OK, OK. Yeah. 189 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,559 And see if you can look at yourself. Yeah. 190 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,399 Let's take one more second and you can just say, 191 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,640 "This is my body." 192 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,080 This is my body. 193 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:56,119 The majority of the group have faced their own reflection. 194 00:09:56,120 --> 00:10:00,520 Bertie, would you like to come up? Bertie is one of the last. 195 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,359 I don't like the way I look without my clothes on. 196 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,239 I tend to not look in the mirror because it's... 197 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,240 ...I don't think it's a pretty sight. 198 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,919 Take a moment and look at me, OK? 199 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:18,959 Yeah. 200 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,719 When you're ready, just a glimpse at the mirror 201 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,679 and if you need to come back to my eyes... 202 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,840 Yeah, good job. You're doing it great. 203 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,519 Can you say, "This is my body." 204 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,440 This is my body. 205 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,720 Katie, would you like to step up? 206 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,200 I've always hated my looks and my body. 207 00:10:55,080 --> 00:11:00,359 Back in school, I really struggled with my confidence. 208 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,879 I don't think there's anything about me that I like. 209 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,720 Especially looks-wise, I really just don't like it. 210 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,239 Um, I was always the monster. 211 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,039 Um, I got bullied really badly, 212 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,639 spat at, had things thrown at me. 213 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,079 Um, social media pages made of me 214 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,999 where they've edited my face onto, like, different, 215 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,399 like, animals and stuff. Um, yeah, 216 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,079 I've always been insecure and just hated the way I look, so. 217 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,400 Thank you. 218 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,479 Hmm. 219 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:34,960 APPLAUSE 220 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,600 OK, brave woman. 221 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,640 Yeah. You're doing great. 222 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,960 Do you want to start and just say what you see? 223 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,639 Wow. So you want to take a minute and actually see 224 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,640 if you can bring some loving eyes to your body? 225 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,520 Yeah. It's OK. 226 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,720 Do you want to just say, "This is my body." 227 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,759 This is my body. 228 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,639 APPLAUSE 229 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,640 Woo! 230 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,560 I feel like you are the bravest people on the planet. 231 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,480 One more step into self-reclamation and self-love. 232 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,079 Hi, guys. Hi. Hello. Oh, my God, you guys have clothes on. 233 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,119 I know! Who are you? 234 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,559 How's everyone feeling? Terrible. Terrible. 235 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,959 Terrible. I'm just not happy 236 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,279 about revealing my scars and stuff. I really never noticed them. 237 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,359 Also, scars are cool. 238 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,039 I have so many which I love on my body. 239 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,119 I'm, like... CLICKS FINGERS 240 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,159 ...and they look sick. 241 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,079 I don't mean like accidental or surgery. 242 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,679 I mean my self-harm scars. 243 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,519 My scars from self-harm and stuff, 244 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,159 I don't think I'll ever be kind of secure with them. 245 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,840 They're kind of a memory of a worse time, really. 246 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,919 Fair play to everyone that went naked. Yeah. 247 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,479 I wish I could have done that. 248 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,520 My boobs would have sagged down to my knees if I took my bra off. 249 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,079 Have you heard that song? 250 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,559 ♪ Do your boobs hang low? 251 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,439 ♪ Do they wobble to and fro? ♪ Yeah. 252 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,079 ♪ Yes yes-yes-yes... ♪ Can you tie them in a knot? 253 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,279 254 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,879 That was really hard. 255 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,320 I didn't enjoy it at all. 256 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,599 It was just mental games in my head. I didn't want to do it, but I knew 257 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,800 I had to, to just take this process one step further. 258 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,959 You're doing really well. This is the phase 259 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,719 that I've been scared about the most, 260 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,080 and now we're in it and I just feel like shit. I know. 261 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,079 Are you staying over here, Bertie, or are you going over there? 262 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,719 I'm... was going to stay over here. 263 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,679 I don't want to leave you on your own. 264 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,159 Sometimes I like being in my own company, but... Yeah, no, 265 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,320 I get that. 266 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,320 As long as it's not, like, an awkward silence. Yeah. 267 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,599 It's lunchtime on Virgin Island... 268 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,359 I wanted to be a skinny legend. Goal! 269 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,679 Your weight is the least interesting thing about you. 270 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,239 ...and for some of the group, 271 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:34,039 the nudity phase has brought up deep-seated emotions. 272 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,799 But it's the first thing you see about me. 273 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,879 No. No, it's not. It's not. It's really not. 274 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,679 Your face is the first thing you see. It's people... 275 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,639 And you're also beautiful and your body is great as well. Yes. 276 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,040 So it's like... it's clearly. And your personality is top tier. Yeah. 277 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,759 Today we started the nudity phase and so many of them found a mirror. 278 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,639 For the experts, one person 279 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,999 in the workshop particularly caught their attention. 280 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,879 I was super proud of Katie. When she was a child in school 281 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:07,239 people called her a monster, so for her to come up and to be only 282 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,239 in her underwear was extremely brave. 283 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,599 Yeah, I'm really looking forward today 284 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,239 to checking in and saying, hey, what's happening here? 285 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,679 She is indicating some deeper emotions with regards 286 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,599 to how she sees herself and her self-worth. 287 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:25,119 Mm-hm. With Katie's past still shaping her self-image, 288 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,479 she's meeting clinical therapist Abby 289 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,999 to explore what lies beneath. 290 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,079 Everyone I watch on TV or on social media, 291 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,119 they're all these beautiful, skinny model-looking people. 292 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,760 I'm sat here and I'm the complete opposite. 293 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,439 I'm terrified to be naked in front of someone. 294 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,199 I feel like they're going to look at my body 295 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,079 and just pick apart every single bad thing, 296 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,120 like I do. 297 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,520 Hi. Come on in. 298 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:01,279 My biggest fear if things carry on and I don't lose my virginity 299 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,039 is honestly not being able to have my own family. 300 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,799 I want to hear from your perspective, 301 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,959 what are the things that you want out of this work? 302 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,239 I really, really would like to be more confident. 303 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,679 I feel like I've got zero body confidence 304 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,959 and it's bringing my daily life down. Mm-hm. 305 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,279 I got badly bullied, like, 306 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,479 throughout the whole of secondary school. Mm-hm. 307 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,279 What have they made comments about? 308 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,520 Just, like, how big I am, how ugly I am. 309 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,759 Do you find yourself big or ugly? 310 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,039 You do? 311 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,959 Yeah. I've always hated the way I look. Mm-hm. 312 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,400 And I always put myself down. 313 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,839 Um, I don't like anything 314 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,759 about myself, inside or out... OK. ...so I really do struggle. 315 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:46,800 Yeah. 316 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,479 What do we know about bullies? Horrible people. 317 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,719 Why is their voice that important to you? 318 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,119 I just feel like because they just align, 319 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,639 like, their thoughts and my thoughts, 320 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,039 they're just... they're the same. 321 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,119 So if I'm thinking it 322 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,760 and they're saying it, then it must be the truth. Mm-hm. 323 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,800 Because you see yourself as... Repulsive. 324 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,759 How does that feel, hearing that out loud? 325 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,800 Sad. 326 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,200 Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,600 You're the furthest thing from repulsive. 328 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,760 You're... you're a human being. 329 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,840 I don't see that, though. 330 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,000 What do you see? 331 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,960 A monster? 332 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,359 Yeah. And I've felt like this for so long. 333 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,399 I genuinely don't think 334 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,799 I've ever looked at myself and been, like, even, yeah, half decent. 335 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,479 Like, not even like a "ooh, we look cute today"? 336 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,480 No. 337 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:59,159 Change can occur in incremental steps. 338 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,999 Is there any part of your body you appreciate? 339 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,559 My hands. 340 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,920 Take it a step further. Your nails are done. 341 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,199 Yeah. They look really pretty. Can you appreciate the fact 342 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,799 that I like taking care of my hands and my nails 343 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,160 because it makes me feel... 344 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,279 Makes me feel good. OK. 345 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,799 I think the more you practise it and the more you give yourself 346 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,560 that permission to get out of that old language... 347 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,959 It's going to take time. And also, it's a practice. 348 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,160 All right? 349 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,120 Thank you. 350 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,199 This phase is the hardest 351 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,799 for me just because my own body actually terrifies me. 352 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,439 We just took one extra step today, so I'm just hoping 353 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,120 that I can accept it and accept myself. 354 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,559 How was your one-to-one? 355 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,319 Um, I cried a little bit... Aw. ...when I had to bring up, 356 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,519 like, all the old bullying and stuff, but 357 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,799 she just said, say nice things to yourself, 358 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,159 accept all the compliments and... yeah. Really good that you... 359 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,199 Glad you had a good one. Mm. Yeah. If you're happy, 360 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,279 we're happy. Yeah. You look beautiful, by the way. 361 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,919 You're, like, your skin's really glowing. 362 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,119 Thanks. Maybe it's like all the vitamin D 363 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,279 that you're getting every day. 364 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,720 SHE LAUGHS 365 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,439 Hello, mate. Go aim for it, Bertie. 366 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,799 I've tried this on the first day, actually. 367 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,079 Like Katie, this morning's workshop 368 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,519 brought Bertie's body insecurities into sharp focus. 369 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,519 I wouldn't do that. Oh, OK. What do you want... 370 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,439 What do you want to train? I have no idea. Probably the arms. 371 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,759 Bring it behind your head. 372 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,440 That's... that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 373 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,039 Go on, Bertie. 374 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,040 BERTIE LAUGHS 375 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,040 Actually, might lie down. 376 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,559 I see myself as very overweight 377 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,240 and not attractive at all on a looks front. 378 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,719 Whenever, if ever, I have sex for the first time, 379 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:15,359 it would probably be horrendously awkward, 380 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:19,279 and, yeah, the thought of me having sex 381 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,639 is even making me laugh 382 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,480 because I can just imagine it being so bad. 383 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,159 When Bertie came up to the mirror 384 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,359 it is such a hard step for him. He was really proud of himself. 385 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,159 It was a huge deal for him. 386 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,039 Bertie is one of the least experienced in the group. 387 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,799 He's never kissed a girl. 388 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,319 He just needs to connect with his body. 389 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,519 Yeah, I'm really excited to see what we need 390 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,799 to do to feel more connected. It's so foundational 391 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:55,520 to have body acceptance, and it makes progress possible. 392 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,319 Progress for Bertie could eventually mean having sex 393 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,079 with surrogate partner therapist Kat... 394 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:08,319 Hi, good afternoon. ..if he can overcome his body issues. 395 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,199 How did you feel about the workshop? When I was wearing my boxers 396 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,239 it was one of the biggest things I've ever done in my life. 397 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,559 I have, um... I have quite 398 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,400 an insecurity about... 399 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,760 ...the size. 400 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,679 Hmm. OK. That's what it is. 401 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,119 To build confidence, Kat introduces an exercise 402 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,199 focused on boundaries and consent called "may I, will you." 403 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,759 Um, may I caress your arm? 404 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,479 OK. Yes. 405 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,879 Can I do it on both hands? 406 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,679 No, because that was the ask, 407 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,720 so we want to stay with what you asked. Yeah. 408 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,800 How did that feel? Felt very nice. 409 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,159 May I 410 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,239 suck your dick for five minutes? 411 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,439 HE LAUGHS 412 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,119 Er, no. 413 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,079 Yeah, yeah. "No" is a great answer. 414 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,719 Yeah. Do you want to say a little more? 415 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,919 I think we're not at that stage. Yeah, good job, 416 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,039 good owning, you know. 417 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,519 HE CHUCKLES 418 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,799 But I'm not ruling anything out. 419 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,599 Um, 420 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,720 may I kiss you on the cheek? 421 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,160 Yes. 422 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,320 Thank you. 423 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,439 Will you... 424 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,800 ...I feel like I just want you to, like, sit on me. 425 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,879 Er, I've got quite a big bottom, and I don't want to crush you, so. 426 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,119 It's really, really important 427 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,999 that Bertie feels so much more confident with himself, 428 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,519 with his body, and I don't 429 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,159 think he'll feel safe being himself in intimacy 430 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,799 without a lot of permission. And that's something 431 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,399 that surrogate partner therapy can really give. 432 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,879 Just lay back. 433 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,359 All the way. Are you all right? 434 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,999 Yeah. Yeah. I'm all right. OK. 435 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,239 HE CHUCKLES 436 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,839 And guess what? 437 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,560 What? You're not too heavy. 438 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,199 Thank you. Oh. 439 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:06,000 OK. Um, I have an idea in mind. 440 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,679 It's something that has never happened to me before. 441 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,000 Um... 442 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,920 I was thinking, may I have my first kiss with you? 443 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,319 I've not kissed anyone romantically, 444 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:29,439 which at 24 is a very strange thing to say 445 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,679 when that is the very, like, 446 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,039 almost the first kind of step in a relationship 447 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,440 and I haven't even done that. 448 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,159 There's no shame. OK. All right. And don't... 449 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,719 I don't want any tongues or anything like that. No. Perfect. 450 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,319 We're just going to do... Just normally. Yep. It's our flip. 451 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,319 And you don't have to, like... You can just kind of relax. 452 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,399 OK. OK. 453 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,239 I don't want them to be too dry or anything. 454 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,279 No, don't worry about it. Right. 455 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:55,440 OK. OK. 456 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,599 Good. That was my first kiss. 457 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,680 You did great. 458 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,199 Wow. That was fantastic! 459 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,279 That was... Yeah. 460 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,320 That... that. Yeah, um... 461 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,999 Thank you. Thank you so much. 462 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,039 As Bertie's confidence grows... 463 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,240 There we go. 464 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,520 ...he feels able to go further. 465 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,519 Mm. Also, side note, 466 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,319 I can tell just from under your pants 467 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,279 that you don't have to worry about size, just so you know. 468 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,959 What? Well, it's, er, it's... it's... 469 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,359 I'll say... It's very stiff at the moment, 470 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,679 but when it's not, that's the problem. 471 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,359 It's OK. You're a grower, not a shower. 472 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,639 HE LAUGHS 473 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,559 Yeah, fair enough. 474 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,680 Very, very well. 475 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,200 Thank you very much, Kat. See you. Love you, bye. 476 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,359 I am feeling absolutely incredible. 477 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,360 I feel like the stress has been evaporated. 478 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,239 The next session I could potentially be getting 479 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,839 my clothes off, maybe even fully naked. 480 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,560 We're making very good progress. 481 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,999 It's day two of the nudity phase on Virgin Island. 482 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,599 We're halfway through now. Yeah. 483 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,639 I can't even think what's going to happen today. 484 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,119 It should be easier. Never say that! 485 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,360 You say that every time. Never say that, Alex! 486 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,039 Building on yesterday's body acceptance, 487 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:45,119 today's workshop is designed to take the group further... 488 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,919 Oh, my God! 489 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,079 ...into more explicit territory. 490 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,999 We have giant genitals on display because we want 491 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,279 to just normalise every different kind of genital. 492 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,479 Welcome. 493 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,079 I don't know where to look. 494 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,159 This workshop is all about getting familiar 495 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,319 with your genitals and to understand where the pleasure centres are 496 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,479 and how to start to get in touch with them. 497 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,399 Any feelings that come up with it as you..? 498 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,639 Yeah, very uncomfortable. 499 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,199 Mm-hm. Yeah. I'm less uncomfortable, 500 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,279 it's more like intrigued, kind of thing. 501 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,679 I feel more comfortable with this side. 502 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:18,800 Hence why I'm sat here! 503 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,319 First thing I want you to notice 504 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,359 is they all look very different, depending. 505 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:30,239 We want to invite Jason up. Oh, my God. 506 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,799 If they want to have sex... Didn't even notice. 507 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,319 ...the virgins are going to have 508 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,599 to get better acquainted with real live genitals. 509 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,639 I have touched, like, 510 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,599 a penis. Couldn't see it. 511 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,840 It was dark. 512 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,919 I think I'm comfortable with female anatomy 513 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,119 and male anatomy. I mean, maybe men 514 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,479 are a bit more gross, but... 515 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,279 I've pecked a lad before and that's as far as any 516 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,879 physical contact has ever gone 517 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,439 with me and another lad. 518 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,119 The first thing you'll see is that I am circumcised, 519 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:05,799 so my foreskin doesn't cover the head or the glans of my penis. 520 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,879 This ridge here, where the head meets the shaft, 521 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,319 this is called the corona. 522 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,839 And this spot here is the frenulum. 523 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,199 And this is also very, very sensitive. 524 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,800 Thanks for going on this tour with me. 525 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,840 I don't like this. 526 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,839 Kat, would you like to come join us? 527 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:35,799 I've watched pornography and I think the vaginas that I've seen, 528 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,239 I worry that, you know, 529 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,680 mine's not normal. 530 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,959 I think I know what I'm talking about, 531 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,040 but truthfully, I've probably got no bloody idea. 532 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,199 All right. 533 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,439 I obviously know what the female anatomy looks like, 534 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:54,680 but, um, I wouldn't know where to go, put it that way. 535 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,439 Here is my vulva. 536 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,239 Here's the outer labia. 537 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,400 And then in here you have the inner labia. 538 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,159 And here's the clitoral hood. 539 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,720 And then there's the clitoris. 540 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,799 I don't want to see other people naked. 541 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,039 It doesn't come naturally to everyone. 542 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,239 I don't feel comfortable. 543 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,199 {\an8}Also, where it feels good to be touched can change 544 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,879 {\an8}a lot within a sexual experience. 545 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,959 So it's just important to be able to communicate 546 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,879 with your partners about what feels good. 547 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:26,919 Well done. 548 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,880 APPLAUSE Woo! 549 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,959 Any feelings that come up? I was uncomfortable at first, 550 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,759 but I feel like I've learned a lot. Do you feel 551 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,599 that your comfort level changed a little bit? 552 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,319 A little bit. I still don't know where to look, 553 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,199 but. It is overwhelming, 554 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,000 like, don't get us wrong. 555 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,160 Cheers, guys. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. 556 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,199 That whole thing, I hated. 557 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,559 It made me really uncomfortable just from start to end. 558 00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,879 I'm glad they showed a variety of different... 559 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,399 Yeah, that's... that's what I think. 560 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,999 It's the first time I've ever seen a vulva up close 561 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,560 and I rather enjoyed it. 562 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,119 I'd be lying if I said it wasn't weird, 563 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,759 but I actually found it quite useful. 564 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,039 How did you find it, Bertie? 565 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,279 All of a sudden I've gone off a Subway Mega Meat. 566 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,520 Hahaha! 567 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,679 So what did you think about the naked pictures? 568 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,239 I'm not going to lie. From far away, it looked like trees. 569 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,319 It is some kind of wood, isn't it? So. Yeah! 570 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,479 LAUGHTER 571 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,600 Nice. 572 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,719 I don't know if this is just a male thing, but it just seems 573 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,599 like vaginas have got a lot more going on. 574 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,839 I also know now I'll never fully judge 575 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,759 a guy for not finding the clit. There was a couple, I was like, 576 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,080 I need to find it as well. 577 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,599 I was like, OK, cool. Got it. 578 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,319 Thank you to Jason and Kat. Bless them. 579 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,920 I feel, like, a lot more confident moving forward. 580 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,919 It's not just the workshop that is giving Will confidence... 581 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,119 Feeling that touch land in your body. 582 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,279 ...as Aisha takes steps to help him 583 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,239 with his fears of premature ejaculation. 584 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:15,479 What level of arousal did you feel? Really pleasurable. 585 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:20,799 But, like, I wasn't shooting over free, really. OK. 586 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,919 Meanwhile, Joy is building 587 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,679 up her techniques to overcome vaginismus. 588 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,919 Touch your perineum. Yeah. And if you kind of, 589 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,879 like, come up from the perineum 590 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,760 a little bit, your finger will dip in. 591 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:34,719 Yeah. Yeah. 592 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,359 What are you noticing as you're doing that? 593 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,119 There is no discomfort. 594 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,479 I didn't clench up in fear, 595 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,440 and I was able to experience a little bit of pleasure. 596 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,679 I've shown, like, myself that I can do it, 597 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,799 even if it's just for that one little thing. 598 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,720 So see how next session goes. 599 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,519 As Joy's confidence builds... 600 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,759 It's more of a practical session today. 601 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,119 Yeah. ..so too does Tegan's work 602 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,839 with surrogate partner, therapist Risdon. 603 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,559 She's showing me her vulva. 604 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,440 This is the vagina. That is hot. 605 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,600 As things escalate from looking... 606 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:14,800 ...into touch. 607 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,160 Hello. 608 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,639 Come sit and we'll chat. Absolutely. 609 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,399 We had talked about doing genital touch today. Yes. 610 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,679 How are you feeling about that? Any..? A little bit of nerves. 611 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,319 Yeah. But which is natural. But no, mainly excited. 612 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,079 Let's get undressed. Cool. 613 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,999 Ooh. Do you mind unzipping me? OK. 614 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,479 OK, great. 615 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,039 I've never been one-on-one with 616 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,319 a woman in a bedroom or anything like that. 617 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,760 Can you pull this off? Yes, I can. 618 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,199 There. 619 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,720 I don't know how to initiate the physical touch myself. 620 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,399 There we go. 621 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,999 And I want that sexual, 622 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,519 romantic, intimate connection. 623 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,599 Start pulling these off. 624 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,879 Mm-hm. 625 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:59,080 But I don't know how to get to that stage. 626 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,919 How's that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? Good. OK. 627 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,599 The first thing I'm going to have you do... Mm-hm. 628 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,119 You're looking at me and that's great. 629 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,279 I'm going to have you look at my pussy. Mm-hm. 630 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,560 Notice any feelings that are coming up for you. 631 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,719 It's hot. 632 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,359 THEY LAUGH 633 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,999 I would like you to, with the backs of your fingernails, 634 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,719 run your hands up my thighs, very slowly. 635 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,560 Mm-hm. Go super slow. 636 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:29,880 Like this? Mm-hm. 637 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,759 See if you can see my vaginal opening. 638 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,799 Mm-hm. Can you see it? Yeah. And with this finger... 639 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,039 So don't go in, but just put the finger, 640 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,239 like, right on the bottom of the hole. 641 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:43,519 Mm-hm. 642 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,439 Yeah. 643 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,440 That's nice. Mm-hm. 644 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,560 Mm. That's nice. 645 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,199 All right. I'm going to come cuddle you. 646 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:03,079 I was nervous about giving pleasure, but, 647 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,399 yeah, I feel like a lot of those nerves have dissipated now. 648 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:07,560 Mm. 649 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:10,879 RISDON HICCUPS 650 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:11,919 Hiccup. 651 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,959 Yeah! 652 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:13,999 Do you know what? 653 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,040 You fingered me and I got the hiccups! 654 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,839 Guess we've got to get back up, haven't we? Mm-hm. 655 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,639 Oh, I'm buzzing! It was the first time 656 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,439 I had my fingers inside another woman. 657 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:30,040 I feel like a whole new person. You do? Yeah. Yeah! 658 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,319 I don't think I've felt happier being on the island right now 659 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:36,439 than right now. 660 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,239 I feel it's big. I feel it's big. 661 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,239 It's a massive step forward for me. 662 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,359 Bye. See you. Bye. 663 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,839 That's a big barrier that I've had in my way 664 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,920 and I feel like I'm a big step closer to losing my virginity. 665 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,839 {\an8}The sun is shining on Virgin Island... 666 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,279 I hope you know which way we're going. 667 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,919 No. We're going down here. 668 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,599 ...and for the last afternoon of the nudity phase, 669 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,279 clothing is optional. 670 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,559 {\an8}We asked a group to take nude photos in pairs. 671 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,559 Who's going first? I'll take your picture. 672 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,719 Go on. All right. 673 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:17,039 It's all about the good shots, Jason. You do you. 674 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,879 This is all about having fun. 675 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,679 Oh, my God. Here we go. 676 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,719 The goal is to help them feel relaxed around their bodies 677 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,799 and feel comfortable with nudity. 678 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,919 For some of the group... There we go! 679 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,799 ...improved body confidence is on full display. 680 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,719 That's it. Yeah. Ready? 681 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:38,680 I've never felt this sexy in my life. 682 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,039 Please say you didn't laugh until after. 683 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,119 That just felt empowering. 684 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,639 And I was like, "Massive slay to me." 685 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:49,880 Smile. 686 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:52,839 I thought there was some power there, 687 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,399 some sort of strength, and I think maybe I hadn't seen myself 688 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:56,879 in that light before. 689 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,239 Good. 690 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,959 I'm getting sexy vibes. 691 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,079 Not bad. 692 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,159 OK, take the bra off. Woo! 693 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,439 I don't mind being nude in, like, the ocean. 694 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,919 And I wanted to prove to myself I could at least do it. 695 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,519 Three, two, one. 696 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,319 SHE EXCLAIMS 697 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:19,279 But for others, baring all for the camera is still a step too far. 698 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,759 Let's try this, I guess. 699 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,399 HE GROANS 700 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,960 Oh! Shit. Not that. 701 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,479 That's how you do it. 702 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,239 I didn't feel like getting naked today. 703 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:32,279 And I'm glad that Callum told me 704 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,879 he wasn't going to get his willy out 705 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,399 because, after the morning workshop, 706 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,760 I think we've seen enough of those for one day. 707 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,839 After a tough time in yesterday's mirror workshop... 708 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,079 Oh, that's cute. 709 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,239 ...Katie's showing tentative signs of progress. 710 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:49,679 I wish I could show you. It looks really good. 711 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,399 I know, I'd love to be able to see! 712 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,719 Your boobs look so good. 713 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,639 It's just been a bit scary. 714 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,320 But these little steps are making me, like, open up. 715 00:35:58,560 --> 00:35:59,639 CAMERA WHIRS 716 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,159 Oh! That's it. 717 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,159 Like, Katie... This is going to be very underwhelming, 718 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,479 I'm telling you now, 719 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,599 cos, like, I'm still in clothes, so... 720 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,439 I ain't getting undressed here. 721 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,200 ...the nudity phase has exposed some of Ed's body insecurities. 722 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:18,919 I'm just glad this phase is nearly over. 723 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,919 Anything's easier than this one. 724 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:25,279 My scars and my disability, there's certain things, 725 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,079 especially with intimacy, 726 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,919 {\an8}where I do feel like it's going to 727 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,520 {\an8}negatively impact it. 728 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,119 The scars are embarrassing. It makes even, like, just cuddling 729 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,359 with someone a little bit more awkward. 730 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,239 It feels like I kind of stalled in life. 731 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,039 I feel a bit like a kid, to be honest. 732 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,919 Having built up a relationship with Ed at the retreat... 733 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,199 Hello! 734 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:53,079 How are you? Better than this morning. That's good. 735 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,279 ...expert Kat feels she can relate to his body issues 736 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,440 from her own personal experience. 737 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,479 I noticed that Ed had scars, 738 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,119 and that's something he was really insecure about coming in, 739 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,359 and I also do. 740 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,319 And so it felt really powerful to, like, share that space. 741 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,079 I think something that's really important 742 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:17,039 for you to practise is, like, really coming to people as equals. OK. 743 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,839 And I saw your scars. 744 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,719 It was confronting for me because it's a part of myself 745 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,199 that I still can feel so much shame around. 746 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,879 I get that. But when I see them on you, 747 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,079 I don't have any judgment. Like, I only feel so much 748 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,039 love and compassion 749 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,919 and it creates more of a sense of care. 750 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,479 It just felt really comforting to... 751 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,359 ...not feel alone with it, if that makes sense. 752 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,079 Do you feel comfortable taking off your shirt? 753 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,120 Yeah. 754 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,279 I'm going to take my bra off too. OK. 755 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,640 KAT EXHALES 756 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,599 OK. How are you feeling now? 757 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,159 A little bit nervous. 758 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,200 Yeah. Just start by looking and breathing. 759 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,479 And is it OK if I touch you? 760 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,679 Yeah. 761 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,080 Will you touch me also? 762 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:18,920 Can we sit down? Yeah. 763 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,199 Will you touch my scars while I touch yours? 764 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,519 Yes? Does that feel OK? Yeah. Yeah? OK. 765 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,240 I have got one on my chest as well. 766 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,639 The worst one is the one down on my arm. 767 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,679 That one. Mm-hm. That's what made me stop. 768 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:38,680 Mm-hm. 769 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,559 I'm always worried about people touching mine 770 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,159 and not knowing how it feels to them. 771 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:52,720 So, with you, I feel like I can be vulnerable as well. 772 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,280 And, like, I'm not alone. 773 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,440 Am I all right to touch your face? 774 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:14,320 Thank you, Kat. 775 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,039 Knowing that we've both got scars, 776 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,039 and possibly for similar reasons, 777 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:24,639 I didn't feel any, like, body issues at all - 778 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,879 I completely forgot that I have any - 779 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,600 and I felt really good about myself. 780 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,960 Go, Jason! Woo! 781 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,039 This morning I was like... I looked in the mirror, 782 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,679 I went, "Katie, your eyebrows look really good today." 783 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,239 That's brilliant. And also, I feel like 784 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,359 after yesterday's exercise, that's what you need. 785 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,039 And obviously it's all positive things, so I'm, like, clocked on. 786 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,839 It's all mental. 787 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,080 While Katie makes tentative progress on her body image... 788 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,600 Jason, your hair looks lovely! 789 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,159 Yay! 790 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,559 ...the experts want her to take the plunge 791 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,280 and move on from her past. 792 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,519 I'm going to be seeing Katie today, and the things that people have said 793 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:23,399 to her about her body and her looks are truly destroying 794 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,279 of a person's sense of dignity. 795 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,679 I would love to bring Katie to the mirror, if she feels ready, 796 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,319 and to start to find something 797 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:36,760 that brings her joy would be, I think, a big step. Yeah. 798 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:42,680 Aisha plans to revisit the mirror exercise one last time. 799 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,639 Social media is really hard for bullying. 800 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,519 People will just constantly 801 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,160 pick you apart and make you feel more insecure. 802 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,319 I've had a lot of things posted on me. 803 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,839 I was scrolling through once and someone had asked, 804 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,919 "Who's the ugliest girl in school?" 805 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,000 and this person had written my full name. 806 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:09,560 That was really difficult. 807 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:17,479 Hello! 808 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:21,999 And just feeling which piece of clothing wants to come off. 809 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,639 Um... 810 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,160 ...let's do my top. OK, great. 811 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,959 I really don't like this. I feel like... 812 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,559 ...I've got so much bad, like, skin and stuff, 813 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,600 so much hatred for myself. Mm-hm. 814 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:42,840 See if you can remember being with your body and not hating it. 815 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,879 That must have been so nice. 816 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,599 Young Katie did not care 817 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,799 what others thought or what others said. 818 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,879 Yeah. And she didn't hate herself. Yeah. 819 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,159 Sometimes, Katie, what happens is 820 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,799 when we live with people who torment us, 821 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,519 we can actually carry their voice 822 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:13,639 in our head and we think it's ours... Mm-hm. 823 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,800 ...but it's not ours. 824 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,439 Noticing if you feel like you want to continue getting undressed 825 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,319 or if you feel good as you are. 826 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,560 Um, I could take the shorts off. OK. 827 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,319 This is so weird. OK. 828 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:39,959 What's happening now? I'm sick of just hating every part 829 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,000 and just looking at the bad parts of myself. 830 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,919 How do you want your body to feel? 831 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,079 I wish that I would have let go 832 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,239 of nasty things created of me on social media. 833 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,759 Yeah. I've screenshotted it and I've still got 834 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,999 the pictures on my phone from many, many years ago. Wow! 835 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,280 Cos I like to look back at them and make myself feel bad again. 836 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,159 What would letting it go have looked like? 837 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,159 Not even thinking about it ever again 838 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,119 because they don't deserve it... Yeah. 839 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,679 ...and I don't deserve it. Yeah. 840 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:16,919 After years of criticism shaping how Katie sees herself... 841 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,039 Would you like to do it dressed or undressed? Dressed. 842 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,439 OK, great. 843 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,239 ...now Aisha challenges her to push back. 844 00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:27,759 My hair. Ah-ha. 845 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,719 It's so dead, 846 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,480 but it grows really quickly. 847 00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:35,319 My stomach. I hate how big it big is, 848 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,999 but it fuels me every single day. 849 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,719 You're rocking right now, Katie. 850 00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:45,479 My boobs are very droopy, 851 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,959 but I feel like they suit my body. Yeah! 852 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,599 I want to be a mum so bad. 853 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,519 So, yeah, milk. Yeah. 854 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,200 Comfort for my babies. Wow. Beautiful. 855 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,599 Thank you so much. See you later, Katie. See you later. 856 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,639 I really loved how relaxed and comfortable I felt. 857 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,399 This new growth and self-exploration 858 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,959 that I've found has just changed my entire life. 859 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,199 I would love to be able 860 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,040 to just carry that on, so I'm really happy. 861 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,599 As the sun sets on the nudity phase... 862 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,560 Everybody, come on over! 863 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,279 ...the experts have gathered to give the group one final opportunity 864 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,439 to shed their inhibitions. 865 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:40,279 You've just finished the nudity phase 866 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,799 and we are so proud of you. 867 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:47,719 So many of you got naked and felt a more comfortable 868 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,119 relationship with your body and... 869 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:53,879 As, like, a culmination and celebration of this phase, 870 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,359 we all take a little group swim together. 871 00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,079 You can undress to your level of comfort. 872 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,319 I will be going full naked. 873 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,400 Who's brave enough? 874 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,479 CHEERING He's thinking about it! 875 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,800 Bertie, you're taking your shoes off! 876 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,879 One, two, three! 877 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,200 ALL YELP 878 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:26,680 Woo! 879 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,159 CHEERING 880 00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,519 When we jumped in the sea naked, it was so freeing. 881 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,480 The nudity phase is awesome. 882 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,319 I have absolutely no idea why I did that, 883 00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,359 but, hey, I'm absolutely glad that I did. 884 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,279 It is definitely one of the biggest things I've ever done. 885 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,799 I feel like I've ended the phase on a high. 886 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,239 I've learned how to be a little bit nicer to myself. 887 00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:55,359 Every single person is different 888 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,759 and every single body is different. 889 00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,119 It's crazy to think about, 890 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,360 but right here, right now, yeah, I feel like I could do anything. 891 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:07,639 Next time... 892 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,919 Hit my hand with the dick. 893 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,159 LAUGHTER 894 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,600 ...things get hands on... 895 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,119 You can put your finger inside. 896 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,439 I'm just curious! 897 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,600 ...as a special guest arrives for the playtime phase... 898 00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,399 Mmm. 899 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:26,279 ...and a fantasy... Get on your knees. ..becomes reality. 900 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,280 Good boy.